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It's 11:56 pm as I write this and my son was just all up in my face, on my nerves, and not in bed.

And on top of all that, his breath was kickin'.

It got me thinking about things that skeeve me, so I made a list...because this is what one does on a Monday night when they're skeeved, annoyed and can't sleep.

  • Bad breath - especially bad breath from someone who is talking entirely too close to you. Makes me want to douse them in Listerine and pelt them with Altoids.

  • Long, dirty finger nails - listen people, nail clippers are cheap, and soap and water are magical.

  • Things that are wet or sticky with no obvious source of the wetness or stickiness so it leaves you wondering why the hell the thing is wet or sticky.

  • People who feel compelled to spit on the sidewalk or out of their car windows. If you can't contain the saliva or whatever, it's time to see a specialist.

  • Dirty napkins or tissues left lying around. Call me crazy, but I don't need to be disposing of your germs in the age of superviruses.

  • Loud chewing. It's gross, as well as annoying.

  • Hair in the sink or on a counter in a public bathroom. What is happening in these bathrooms that that much shedding is going on?

  • The smell of microwaved riced cauliflower. The assy odor is just overwhelming sometimes

  • Talking to someone who has food stuck in their teeth. Now, I know it's not gross, per se, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. What's worse is if it's someone you don't really know because you can't say, "Hey man, you have a whole salad stuck in between your central incisors."


What would you add to this list?


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