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Let Down By The Pick Up Line

Updated: Dec 6, 2022

I'm new to the dating scene again after being married for several years, but throughout my married years there were times when I was flirted with and even been asked on a date. I would decline politely by stating that I was married. Things are very different now because I might entertain an advance if he seems to be the right person. There's another new thing, an unfortunate new thing that I've observed - some pick up lines are down right scary and "flirtation" can be frustrating.

Here's an example: I was working at an event and was approached by a man while I was standing at my post. If you read "Tall Girl" then you'll know that I have been attracted to men who are shorter than me, so height is not really an issue in my eyes. As long as there's chemistry. This guy, however, was about 4'11" compared to my 5'10". I could've carried him around on my back like a baby. Who knows, maybe that's what he's into. In fact, it just might be what he's into because this is what he said to me after he sauntered over, raised a single eyebrow, and gestured to the wooden items that were for sale: "So, uh, are those for stirrin' or spankin'?"

It's not my nature to make someone feel bad about themself for something they say or do, especially a person who was ballsy enough to approach me, but I couldn't control my reaction in this particular case. I looked at him like he was crazy and turned away because he just sounded so ridiculous and what he said, as a complete stranger, made me uncomfortable. Judging by the way he walked away I'm pretty sure he thought I was cold and conceited, but this makes me wonder: has a line like that worked for him in the past? Was he expecting me to melt?

I've walked into bars and restaurants and been approached relatively quickly by men who lead with, "I saw all of you walking in and just had to talk to you. You're one tall woman." Believe it or not, having my height pointed out repeatedly is not cute, clever, or sexy. It's annoying.

Another time, I was walking into my orthopedic surgeons office and there was a man sitting in the chair across from the door. I felt his eyes on me the minute I walked through the door. He wasn't unattractive but his stare was a little unnerving and, similar to the stirrin' or spankin' guy, he made me uncomfortable. The only available seat was across from him, so I had to turn back and walk in his direction after I checked in. We eventually made eye contact and this is what he said: "Your legs look like you work out. Do you work out? I think you do and you should definitely keep working out." What do I say to that? "Thanks"? I think I said "thanks". To my relief, he didn't try to comment on any of my other body parts. Maybe I wouldn't have been so freaked out if he wasn't staring at me like a dog eyeing a steak.

Earlier I said that flirtation can feel frustrating sometimes. This is flirtation that takes too much work and makes you dizzy. Flirting should be fun, but with some men, I've learned that it that it can seem like flirtation one minute, then the next it's something else, and then it goes back-and-forth like that for a while. I won't entertain it very long because playing head games is not sexy.

So, "you" might be asking, "What do you want a guy to do, then?"

Just TALK TO ME. Come over, say hello, introduce yourself and start a conversation. If you think I look pretty, tell me. Try to be yourself. If you seem nervous or awkward, it's okay. It's actually kinda' cute.

It's really that simple!

I know I'm tall, I don't need anyone to remind me.

And I really don't want to hear any sexual innuendos about wooden spoons.

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